hey you.

Talk about timing.  This showed up in my facebook feed the other day.  Ummm yup!

confessions of an imperfect yogi

"Every moment waited is a moment wasted, and each wasted moment degrades your clarity of purpose."  ~David Deida

What's in a name?  Apparently to me, a lot.

I want to be perfect.  I want to write the perfect post, pose for the perfect picture and shoot the perfect video.  I keep waiting for the moment to be right, only to discover that there is no right moment and then the moment passes, and I don't do anything at all.  Lather, rinse, repeat.

I wish I could do

                                                                                this

this

and this

                                            
But I can't.  At least not yet.  But I can do

                                                                              this

this

and this

                                                                     
I wish I could use words like blossom and radiate and shine from your heart.

But I can't.  My dialogue is riddled with naughty words and mis-understood jokes.

I wish I could say that I do yoga every day and that my diet is kind and clean.

But I can't.  Sometimes I go a whole week without my own practice.  Sometimes I drink, sometimes I drink alot, and sometimes when I drink alot, I smoke, and then sometimes at the end of those nights of drinking and smoking,  I eat a chicken burger from mcdonalds.  I know, I know what you're thinking: sounds like a great night.  And it is.  And it's okay.

It's all okay. Slowly I'm starting to accept my imperfections and just be me.

I'm not naturally flexible, but believe strongly in the concept of 'faking it til you make it'.  My hips and legs will open with time.  I'll get stronger and be able walk around on my hands for longer.  But certain things just won't fly.  My back, my slightly spinabific back, will never let me bridge up with ease.  My shoulders, which refuse to open, keep certain poses at a distance from me. King pigeon - my absolute favourite pose - is just out of the question.  Again, this is okay.

But I need to constantly remind myself that this is all okay.  That it's okay to be where I am. I teach this, I write about this, but now I really need to "feel" it.  And so as a constant reminder to rock out and just go with it, I'm renaming this blog.  a side of yoga will be put aside, to make room for the imperfect yogi.

A place where I can come as I am and just write from my heart.  Post imperfect pictures and less than perfect videos.  A place where imperfections prevail and all self-judgement is checked at the door.  This will be my world to let it all hang out, right from my crooked teeth to my crooked toes.

I hope that this will help me to do more.  Stop reading so much, and start writing.  Stop browsing facebook pages and start posting.  Stop watching so many videos and actually do a little hot-doggin' myself.

I don't want to wait any more.

We'll see.  I am imperfect afterall and tend to change my mind more often than I change my underwear.  My homeboy would say that that's only because I don't change my underwear all that often.  Whatever, inside out is clean right?

Stay posted for new look and web address

~peace :)

a sweet song to celebrate solstice

I was doing a little creepin' on facebook this morning and saw one of the girls from my YTT had mentioned this song, 'Long Time Sun'. This was a song that was played during savasana from time to time during my Yoga Teacher Training in Bali. So, I googled it and now have it on repeat. There are times in life and people who come along with it, that though brief, leave a profound mark. This, was one of those times. It's just over a year ago that I got to experience this and there is seriously not a day that goes where I don't think about it or my time in Indonesia in some way. There are days when my heart yearns to be back in the rice paddies surrounded by the greenest of greens and the sweet foreign sounds that filled our space. If I close my eyes and am just still enough, sometimes I can actually feel and smell the pulse in the air. This song helped to bring me back.


Enjoy :)

May the Long Time Sun

Shine upon you

All love surround you

And the pure light

within you

Guide your way on

Guide your way on

a quote or two from me to you

My Kindle, which was my best friend on my travels - allowing me to dive into the world of Barbara Kingsolver, the mind of Ayn Rand and the depths of the Yoga Sutras - has been sitting on my bookshelf now for many months passed.  Not receiving a lot of love.  In fact, when I went to turn her on this morning she was dead, so I gave her mouth to mouth.  Resuscitated, she brought me to 'my clippings' - a folder that Kindle has set aside just for me with all the words I thought were wise and wanted to tuck away - and it filled me up with joy. It brought me back, if just for a moment, to the many wonders of words and travel.

Here are more than a few.  Enjoy!

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be". ~ Douglas Adams

"We are here to do.  And through doing to learn; and through learning to know; and through knowing to experience wonder; and through wonder to attain wisdom; and through wisdom to find simplicity; and through simplicity to give attention; and through attention to see what needs to be done." ~ Pirke Avot

Writing Away by Lavinia Spalding
"I have no special talents.  I am only passionately curious."

"wanderer, there is no road, the road is made by walking."

The Heart of Yoga by T.K.V. Desikachar
"When we are attentive to our actions we are not prisoners to our habits."

Autobiography of a yogi by Yogananda
"When your conviction of a truth is not merely in your brain but in your being, you may diffidently vouch for its meaning."

Animal Vegetable Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver
"Eaters must understand, how we eat determines how the world is used."

State of Wonder by Ann Patchet
"Never be so focused on what you're looking for that you overlook the thing you actually find."

Rules of Civility by Amor Towles
"Mostly, he said, I've been thinking about what I'm not going to do.  When I think of the last few years, I've been hounded by regrets for what's already happened and fears for what might.  By nostalgia for what I've lost and desire for what I don't have.  All this wanting and not wanting.  It's worn me out.  For once, I'm going to try the present on for size."

Structural Yoga Therapy by Mukunda Stiles
"Tension is a sign of the betrayal of the Self."

"Yoga is the process by which you lose all identity of yourself as a separate being and become united with your nature as both Shakti and Siva - expansive, creative energy, as well as stillness, eternal bliss.  Both these qualitites are within you."

Pigs in Heaven by Barbara Kingsolver
"If you get around to deciding you're Cherokee, Alice, then that's just what you are."

Bon Weekend!