On Friendship
June 10th, 2011
I'm happy for my old friends who get where I come from, and happy for my 'newer' friends who get where I'm coming from.
On Seeing - What is your vision for your spiritual practice in 2012?
June 17th, 2011
Going home. Remember to be true.
On Tapas (Heat) - What stoked your fire?
June 11th, 2011
Things I learned
~ I'm braver than I think
~ My body is stronger that I think
~ I LOVE watermelon
~ I can be naive
~ Backpacking is tough shit
~ To love and respect my body
~ To embrace my femininity
~ A cold shower won't, in fact, kill me
~ I don't need meat
~ I want to be good. Not just at what I do but how I live
On Dukha - Misery
April 12th, 2011 - Village of Kalidrum
It's like a scene out of a movie. A burnt down house. Only memories of a kitchen remain. Blackened cabinets, a broken teapot with roses painted across the side. A lady's teapot. A row of cracked, stained glasses line the middle shelf. Stained from what. Time? Sulphur?
The edges of what's left of the wall are burnt and crumbled. Empty door frames stand strong where wooden doors perished in the fire. volcanic sulphur, 600 degrees whisked this village away after Mt. Merapi errupted back in November.
Bare trees and rubble now occupy this once lush place. A small bamboo warung has been put up just beside the ruins where I sit. A small beachy hut. The blue sky coming in through the open windows a sharp contrast to the destruction left from the blast.
I've never seen something like this. It seems so small, as if this kitchen once belonged to a little girl. As if this was all her place of makebelieve and it was all just taken away in an instant. Devastation.
On Sukha - Happiness
Feb 18th, 2011 (Korea)
This is where it all began, where I really started to feel at 'home'. The Children's Park. I remember the first week of school searching for a place with some green, a place to go for walks. I remember how proud I was the first time I actually found my way here (and even prouder finding my way home after the third try). Just how independent I felt finding my way through the streets of Busan. I remember coming here with Mike during his first couple of months here for picnics and falling deeper in love with every bite.
I'm really going to miss Korea. Even though I wasn't able to verbally communicate with so many of the people I encountered here there was an understanding, a connection that was made anyways, based on feeling and heart and smiles.
What did you devote yourself to in 2011? How will you devote your energy in 2012?
This year I devoted myself to many things: Yoga, writing, my homeboy, my family. But most of all I devoted myself to being happy.
Next year I will devote myself to the "moment". To staying connected to my surroundings, to myself and to the present.
June 12th, 2011
A woman tried to sell me something the other day that I already had. I declined, politely, letting her know that "I already have one".
"For your sister than."
"I don't have a sister."
"We all have sisters."
In a land made up of villages everyone is family, we all have brothers and sisters. If one thing was impressed upon me through Yoga Teacher Training it's that 'we are all one'.
Indonesians believe this, they live it.
I'm sitting here overlooking the ocean, the wind is rustling through the trees and the Bintang is going down smoother than I'd like to admit. The sky is filled with globs of cotton candy and the sun is checking out for the day. It's beautiful. Peaceful. I do feel 'at one'.
I wonder how I'm going to take this feeling home. Where an only child is an only child and making your 'own way' is revered. Independence, individuality, the strength to stand on your own two feet are your trump cards. Proof that you're making it. Bigger is better. Richer, Faster, Stronger. Where is the love? Where do I belong? How can we all be one when we're all trying to one up eachother?
What can I do to make a difference? As Barbara Kingsolver says "I'm going to be the best animal I can today". - and spread the message, spread the love!
Where did you travel this year? What was your best trip?
Indonesia on a whole was amazing, but what was so great were all the little trips that made up the whole. One of my favourite trips was to Borobudur to visit the largest buddhist monument in the world.
April 13th
"Up early. Again. We arrived at the lookout point long before we needed to. It was dark. Quiet. A blanket of stars. I wonder if these are the same stars we see at home. They seem brighter here - expansive - coming down into the walls of the sky.
A strip of yellow comes through the clouds as the sky starts to lighten. The valley of trees below is covered in mist. A small peak shines through in the distance. Is that it? It must be. Borobudur.
The sun makes her appearance and we wait patiently as the mist continues to pull back revealing more of the monument. It's massive. Sitting up taller than the trees.
Mount Merapi is smoking in the background. The only sounds are those of birds waking up and the "click" of cameras.
The mist hangs around just long enough to capture the perfect "shot". Somehow the mist makes this place seem ever more ancient, more spiritual.
I wonder if the men building this thousands of years ago had any idea just how "big" it would really be. Travellers coming from all over the world to marvel at the largest Buddhist monument. Sitting still for just a moment to try to feel that closer connection to the divine.
*I bet they had no idea we'd all be paying $15 to check it out".
April 14th
It's so hard to really capture this place. To feel as though you're doing it justice. 100 pictures later and I still haven't quite captured it's essence. I'm not sure words will help.
It's just... huge. Beautiful. Detailed. Immaculate.
Every inch is detailed. The blue sky and mountains, the perfect backdrop. Every corner you turn, every new angle gives a new appreciation for its wonder.
I can't stop taking pictures. I can't look away. Worried that I'll never see something like this again. Each Buddha, and there are hundreds, sits in lotus position. Some are housed while others are open to the sky. Some remain perfect as if time isn't a factor for them. Others haven't aged so well. A missing nose, hand, arm, half a face caved in or the whole head just gone. These are my favourites. These imperfect Buddhas lining the way as you make your pilgrimage to Nirvana."
It seems as though each day, each prompt with reverb 11 is bringing me back to yoga and back to Indonesia. Of course it is. For this past week of writing I've decided that for each prompt I'm going to share a journal entry from my time abroad. I'm copying these as is, untouched. A little glimpse into my mind and my time away :)
reverb 15 - Scholar - What did you study this year
May 3rd, 2011 (Yoga Teacher Training)
I don't quite think I knew what to expect. I looked at the schedule so I knew I was going to be busy but I had no idea I'd be so tired. My body is exhausted and sore. Emotionally I feel like I could break.
A lot of these theme practices we're told will bring up emotions. The only emotion I'm feeling is frustration. Frustrated that I can't focus. I feel distracted in this big class.
But, the classes are amazing!!! So challenging. I'm putting myself in new positions each day. And despite the stiffness I can feel my body opening up.
I just wish I would "land" and find that peace on the mat.
I'm so excited about the yogic journey that I'm starting and loving that my homeboy is right in on it too.
I can't wait to go even deeper in my practice, and in my reading. This is the life for me.
