inspiration

I started this blog feeling inspired to write. Spring was just around the corner, I was slowly getting back into a routine on the mat and I felt that I had a lot to write about. And at times I do. Like when I'm walking to and from school and my mind races the whole way making up stories or planning the next 5 years of my life. Or when something comes up between me and the man and I'm emotionally charged I think "these are good things to write about". But then, I get home and the thoughts are gone, or I have a glass of wine and I chill out. And really as much as I want "a side of yoga" to be reflective, I don't want it to all just be about me, what I'm thinking, what I'm doing. I need to find inspiration outside of myself. I need to read more. I need to practise more. I need to get out more.
And more than all of this, I need to start writing more, sometimes just to write. Usually once I get started I find that I do have something to say......just not today.

letting go

Yoga is all about living for today; being present, calm, peaceful. While downward-dogging I find it easier, not easy, but easier, to stay in the now. Tuning in to the breath, lifting up through the arms and grounding down through the legs, breathing, relaxing the neck, focusing the gaze....but outside of yoga, in the real world my mind gets away from me and I lose myself. The brain is a muscle, and like any heatlhy muscle we can train it to do what we want. So why is it so f'ing hard to train my brain to just chill out...to just let go.

It's not even that I find myself obsessing over my past. I have done things in my life that I am proud of and some things that I am not. I have loved and I have lost and am stronger for it. I have come to terms, for the most part with who I am and how I got here. So what is it that I need to let go of? I need to let go of the ideal of what a situation should be like. I need to let go of thinking about the past of others and how it may affect me. I need to let go of constantly trying to plan my future to fit into this little box of what I think I should be doing, who I think I should be becoming.

I really am happy with who I am, but as in all aspects of life I am always looking to the future. Where will I live, what will I do, who will I be? As if where I live and what my occupation is will define me. Regardless of what the next step is, I am consistantly convinced that life will be better, I, will be better. I have been, for some time a victim of the notion that the grass is always greener. And I need to let go of this! I need to be more open to the flow of life, of the universe and trust that everything will work out.

There are so many cliches out there reminding us to slow down, to enjoy the ride....that life is not about the destination but about the journey. Maybe it's time to take these cliches a bit closer to heart. Maybe it is time to stop to smell the roses. Maybe, just maybe, this time I really will be able to just let go and go with the flow....

spring!

Spring has finally turned up here in Busan and I am loving it! The air is different, things are in bloom, the kids are crazy and all I want to do is sit on a patio and drink wine.....yup, spring is here! There is something about different times of the year that make me want to shift my focus. Every New Years I think, okay now is the time to "really" get my shit together. Like everything together. I'm going to be tidier, financially more responsible, healthier, saner, just overall a better person.

Every fall, inspired by the hundreds of pages of Vogue, I think, okay now it's time to start dressing a little bit differently, a little bit more maturely. What does that even mean? The point is, there is something about the fall that makes me want to change my look, or at the very least, tweak it a bit.

Spring though, Spring is my favourite, I am always just motivated to pick up something new or rediscover something old. I love spring. I can literally feel an internal shift once the weather changes. I can taste it, a hunger to learn, to grow, to walk around and just be. No personal pressures to change or added responsibily......just growth. And really, isn't that what spring is all about, growth?

I walked to school for the first time this morning in ages and it felt wonderful. I showed up and instantly you can sense the excitement in the kids, the energy that spring provides is palpable, contagious. It's been a long winter here in Korea, longer than I had anticipated and I'm happy to shed the winter coat along with the winter whatever it was that was making this 28 year old a bit of a nutter.

Along with embracing the new this spring I am devoting my mental energy to letting go of the old. I mean, how am I to grow when I'm spending time looking back?