letting go

Yoga is all about living for today; being present, calm, peaceful. While downward-dogging I find it easier, not easy, but easier, to stay in the now. Tuning in to the breath, lifting up through the arms and grounding down through the legs, breathing, relaxing the neck, focusing the gaze....but outside of yoga, in the real world my mind gets away from me and I lose myself. The brain is a muscle, and like any heatlhy muscle we can train it to do what we want. So why is it so f'ing hard to train my brain to just chill out...to just let go.

It's not even that I find myself obsessing over my past. I have done things in my life that I am proud of and some things that I am not. I have loved and I have lost and am stronger for it. I have come to terms, for the most part with who I am and how I got here. So what is it that I need to let go of? I need to let go of the ideal of what a situation should be like. I need to let go of thinking about the past of others and how it may affect me. I need to let go of constantly trying to plan my future to fit into this little box of what I think I should be doing, who I think I should be becoming.

I really am happy with who I am, but as in all aspects of life I am always looking to the future. Where will I live, what will I do, who will I be? As if where I live and what my occupation is will define me. Regardless of what the next step is, I am consistantly convinced that life will be better, I, will be better. I have been, for some time a victim of the notion that the grass is always greener. And I need to let go of this! I need to be more open to the flow of life, of the universe and trust that everything will work out.

There are so many cliches out there reminding us to slow down, to enjoy the ride....that life is not about the destination but about the journey. Maybe it's time to take these cliches a bit closer to heart. Maybe it is time to stop to smell the roses. Maybe, just maybe, this time I really will be able to just let go and go with the flow....