ssly - #1 - the law of pure potentiality

"at your core you are pure potentiality"

We come into this world with pure awareness, endless potential. This law of pure potentiality represents the realm of our knowledge, intuition, balance, harmony and nature. It's quite similar to Descartes theory of being a blank slate upon birth.

It is throughout our life that our pureness becomes, for lack of a better term, not-so-pure. Right from birth we are exposed to different things, thoughts and ideals and start to open up to the influence of the external world. It absolutely cannot be said that this is a bad thing. This is something that happens naturally, just by living. But through this growing-up, through these influences we start to move away from our self and begin to refer to our life based on external, fleeting experiences and labels.

In finding stillness, we may be able to locate our true Self. Deepak has coined this as self-referral. A state where our internal reference point is our soul. Our true unbiased, unjudging soul. But for most of us, where we spend most of our days is in a state of object referral. Where we base who we are and where we are going on the external world. Our job title, our assests, the people we surround ourselves with.

Ego.

Fear-based state of being.

We are constantly searching for approval, looking for power and control and once we have these things (or think we have them) we become afraid at the thought of losing them.

It is in finding a little stillness when for just a moment we get to come back to our true Self that we are free of all of this. That we open up to our true potential. We are able to shed the various masks that we wear throughout the day and take a moment to just exist, just as we are. Not as teacher, or mother or daughter, but just as you. Pure, natural you.

Wearing these social masks I think, is unavoidable. We play different roles to different people. I think the main thing is to not lose sight of who we are within these roles - at the core...to not lose sight of our Self.

Everyone has their own way of finding stillness. For some, it's writing. Breaking down the wall and letting your true self pour out through the finger tips. For some it's yoga. Finding stillness in a pose. Focusing on nothing but the breath and the body. Tuning into our soul. For some it's just absolute stillness - meditation. Turning the attention inwards, finding true, pure stillness of the mind. Whatever it is, it is a way to connect with your true being and in this we start to see our true potential. The goal I think is to find as much stillness in your life as you can. To spend as much time in this state of pure awareness as possible.

Revelations come from stillness.

Love comes from stillness.

Happiness comes from stillness.

Acceptance comes from stillness.

Change comes from stillness.

Deepak suggests that you try these three things to help you find your pure potential.

* Cultivate stilllness in your body and mind
* Take time each day to commune with nature
* Practice non-judgement (this is not just judgement of others, but judgement of yourself)

This weeks mantra

Om Bhavam Namah
I am absolute existence

korea, fighting!

There's nothing like a sporting event to bring about a little patriotism......even if it isn't your home country your cheering for. We've spent the last three weeks supporting the Korean Red Devils and it was just on Saturday night that they were beat out of the World Cup. And I have to say, with all my soccer know-how, that Korea had them...it looked like they were the better team, but in the end they were beat 2-1 by Uruguay. It was a sad night followed by an even sadder hangover... :P

Mike and I have decided to stay here in Korea for another 8 months in order to finish off my contract. At first, it was a bit hard coming to terms with our decision. We were both pretty excited at the prospect of going somewhere new. But after many talks about what made the most "sense" it is here that we have decided to be. And it was through our nights out for the world cup that I was reminded of just how great Korea can be.

Game 1 - Korea vs. Greece - I rediscover the friendliness of Koreans

Mike and I went to Busan Station to watch the game outside. We showed up about a half hour before game time to a sea of red. Found a little spot, spread out the sleeping bag and settled in for the game. About half way through, it started to drizzle. Not being prepared we just sort of huddled closer together willing to endure a little rain. Not even a minute goes by before we are offered an umbrella from a man sitting behind us. (this man, we are positive is the mayor of Busan...)

This is not the first time something like this has happened. I have not only been offered umbrellas from total strangers after being caught in the rain, but I have had, on more than one occassion a Korean escort to wherever I am going with the shelter of their umbrella.

Game 2 - Korea vs. Argentina - I rediscover my inner Korean passion for picnics

This game was held on a balmy Thursday night and Mike and I headed to Gwangalli beach for the game. Again, we showed up to a sea of red, found our spot and settled in. We had picked up some mandu (korean dumplings) and had a couple of bottles of wine. We were sitting behind two Korean couples in about their 40's who had been there for a while and were diggin' in to some raw fish and whisky. It wasn't long before we were sharing food and drink and a lot of smiles.

Koreans love picnics, and they have it down to an art. I feel that I have a lot to learn in the world of picnicing, and this is the place I'm going to learn it. A dozen tupperwares full of Korean yummies set out perfectly on adorable little picnic mats. And always enough to share with any unexpected joiners. My favourite part about Korean picnics is that they remove their shoes to sit on their picnic mats. Traditions...

Game 3 - Korea vs. Nigeria - I rediscover just how patriotic Koreans are

This game, I slept through, but I showed up to school and every teacher had stayed up or woken up for the 330am game. And not just the teachers, but upon asking my students I learned that about half of them were up with their families to watch the game as well

Game 4 - Korea vs. Uruguay - I rediscover just how silly and fun Koreans are

We headed to our pub for the game. We showed up a bit early but were quickly joined by many Koreans sporting tattoos and devil horns, whistles and light savers. Koreans really get into their sports. This doesn't sound much different from what you would see at an NFL game or something but it is the spirit that is different. There is a competitiveness no doubt, but the main thing that fills the air is just pure joy..silliness. And it doesn't take long before you are right in there engulfed in the positive vibes, singing and chanting along with the rest.

Korea..fighting!

seven spiritual laws of yoga

I am re-reading Deepak Chopra's The Seven Spiritual Laws of Yoga. I have read both this and his Seven Spiritual Laws of Success a few years back. I remember feeling quite inspired while reading this.

I remember feeling connected with what I was reading as if intuitively it all made sense. Scratch that - most of it made sense. But to be quite honest there are certain concepts in this book that I don't fully understand but have never taken the time to really look into. Also, as with most books, about a month or so goes by and I forget most of what I've read. I have been cursed with the mothers memory.

And so, I have decided to give it another go and really dig in to it.

And so it began...

Introduction - "the Seven Spiritual Laws of success are the laws of nature applied to the human experience. They are the principles through which the unmanifest become the manifest..."

And....I'm lost.

Unmanifest vs manifest. What does that even mean?

At this pace it's looking like it's going to take me quite a while to get through this... But, I do want to fully understand where these laws originate from. So, I did a little googlin' and this is what I've come up with.

The unmanifest is our thoughts, energy. The manifest is the physical, our bodies.

The unmanifest is subconscious while the manifest is conscious

The unmanifest is the deepest part of who we are and what we can become. The manifest is the obvious part of life - what we see.

The unmanifest is our soul - our true potential

...and that's enough for today

korean made easy

I have been here for a year and a half and just last night I bought my first Korean language book. Korean made Easy. And I am pretty excited to get started. Coming over here I had so many plans to learn the culture learn the language, not just be a Canadian living in Korea but to really immerse myself into the land of the morning calm. And at first I did...kinda. But time goes on and you realize that you are just a Canadian living in a foreign land and that's okay.

You take in the things you love about Korea, try to avoid that things you don't (and trust me there are a lot of those), and just go on being who you are. And I can honestly say that this proud Canadian has found a home here in Korea....at least for the time being.

Mike and I have "our spots" where we go quite frequently to eat. Coming and going from our apartment we see all of the same faces through the demolished alley way that is our home and share a lot of friendly nods and "anyong haseyo's". And despite not understanding a lick of the language I have become totally accustomed to being surrounded by the murr of Korean. It's nice actually to not always understand what is going on. It becomes a bit of background noise rather than being a distractor while you're out.

But this is how I really know I'm feeling Korea lately. Last night at 4:06 am I was woken up to loud cheers from my neighbours as Korea scored a goal to tie up the game with Nigeria......and I didn't mind. It actually kinda made me smile. And I was excited to know that Korea would be going on to the next round.

I don't even like soccer. But, you know, when in Rome...

on your mark, get set....

Let the games begin! Or, more accurately put...let the training begin! I have decided to train for and run a half marathon. The race isn't until Septemeber 12th, which allows me exactly 12 weeks to train. Perfect!

It's not gonna be easy. And not just the running part, but the actual committment to training. It's hot here in Korea, like icky sticky thick air hot. So, my runs will be hot. It's summer, which means everyone is in summer time, party time mode. It's going to be hard to give up a night of wine on the beach to sweat my ass off with a run... The challenge here, will be to stay focused. Which, lately has not been easy. I have been suffering a severe case of the monkey mind. What will help keep me in line is that the man is going to be training too, so we'll be in this together.

I don't love running. I do love walking. Some people are just natural runners and really enjoy it. I, am not one of those people. But I have for a long time bragged about just how good of a walker I am...and I mean, I really am good. So, I am going to walk/run this 21k and have found a 12 week training program to help me achieve just that. I'm committed, but not crazy.

I'm excited for this. Growing up I was always been involved in competitive sports and so was always in training mode. It has been a long time since I have had a fitness goal of any sort. Something to keep me on track, keep me motivated. This should do just that. It's going to be great. Sweaty, but great.

sweet surrender

The Bindu Wiles 21.5.800 challenge is proving to be, well, challenging. But good things are coming from this challenge. What I am learning is that the hardest part is just getting started, but once I log in or roll out the mat everything starts to flow.

The other morning I woke up feeling tired and really not at all like doing yoga. But I knew that I wouldn't be doing it at any other point that day. So with sleepy eyes I unrolled my mat and started into a little yin yoga. What made this practice so easy is that I have a sequence that I love to do that I know by heart. I discovered this sequence from yoga journal a few years ago and have done it ever since.

http://www.yogajournal.com/practice/2545

It was wonderful. I do aim to really stay still in each pose and just breathe. My body is so tight in the mornings so it takes some time to wake up, but it's in the mornings when I feel that I get the most out of a yin session. It's in the mornings when I can actually feel my joints soften as my body opens up to each pose.

5 breaths in I'm a bit fidgety, trying to find the sweet spot
10 breaths in my body softens as I start to settle into the pose
15 breaths in and beyond I have completely surrendered and am loving it!

And I've started to take this approach into other areas of my life. Just get started. Things will flow from there. I knew that this challenge would be good for me. I didn't know why at the time, but I'm starting to see that it's not just about getting on the mat or writing more. It's about taking more time for myself, more time with my thoughts. And I'm starting to see that surrendering is okay. Surrendering into a pose or into life - as long as I keep breathing everything will be okay!

say what?

"don't sweat the small stuff".

Today my Korean co-teacher told me that when I first came to Korea (16 months ago), I was "young, bright and shiny". And now I am "old, gloomy and stressed" Whoa.

Let me preface this by saying that Koreans definitely have a way with words and that in their culture talking about your looks, your weight, really anything to do with appearance is a major pass-time. So, I did not take offense to this comment. It did however get me thinking.

The excitement of being in a new country has definitely worn off, and so, yes, a bit of the bright and shiny attitude may have gone with it. Over time I have felt more and more that I'm not really growing here and so with that I guess comes a little of the old gloomy feeling. I knew I needed a bit of a shift in attitude, but I didn't realize it was showing on my face.

Who at 28, or any age really wants to be described as old, gloomy and stressed?

After the excitement of Korea wore off it took me a little while to get settled into my life here. As a teacher, as a girlfriend, as a foreigner. But I have gotten settled and instead of just enjoying the ride, as if on cue, I have started to sress about the future. Brooding really. I'm so afraid that life isn't going to end up just as I want it to that I am aging myself. And the kicker of all of this, I have no idea how I want my life to go. So it seems that any path that I go down may not be the right one...there's a constant drum of "maybe I should have turned left".

It's getting to a point where I'm almost annoyed with myself for spending so much time thinking and worrying about where I'm going to end up. Whether I'm making the right decisions. I need a new focus, I need to settle in, not into the external world but into myself. The choices that I have to make are all good choices. How can I really make a wrong decision when any decision will lead me to something good, something positive.

It's just life.

Chill the 'f' out!

blah blah blah

My saving grace over the last couple of years of not regularly attending yoga classes has been My yoga online. Awesome community based website which allows you to practice with wonderful teachers from all over the world right in your own home. Doesn't get easier (or cheaper) than this.

I have yet to really find a form of yoga that I gravitate towards. I love all styles of yoga, which is great as it allows me to take a variety of classes. I spend about 15 minutes online choosing which class to take before I set up my mat. And it is not the length, level or style of class that I am searching for, it is the instructor. I am searching for an instructor who just knows when enough is enough. Who appreciates the age old saying "silence is golden".

I literally skim through the video before committing to it to see just how much the instructor blabs during the session. As an instructor myself I understand that there are certain cues and reminders that you need to give your students and I am very appreciative of those during a class. However, some instructors it seems talk just to talk, about the philosophy of yoga, the history of yoga. And this to me is a turn off. Which is unfortunate because there have been many sequences that I've done that I've totally dug but won't do again due to the sheer blab factor.

A great benefit of taking classes is taking away little bits and pieces that help you to become a better instructor yourself and I've gotta say one of the main things that I've taken away from various classes is that silence during a session is okay. It gives us time to really focus on the breath, give ourselves our own little cues and reminders. But mainly a little silence just makes the class more personal and enjoyable.

Stalemate

Throughout life there are certain milestones set out for us. Right from birth we start to achieve these things naturally just by growing up. We open our eyes, sit up, start walking, talking, sleep in our own bed. And then we're off to school and with each passing year we graduate on to the next level, constantly moving up the ranks. We complete high school and move on to University or college where for most of us we live out from under the watchful eyes of our parents for the first time. Out of University we get our first "real" job, "real" apartment, start to feel growth in ourselves as we enter the world of adulthood.

I went through these stages and I'm happy to say that I did most of them quite well. It took me some time to get the hang of things but overall I was a pretty happy go lucky hard working (and at times hardly working) girl. I've always felt pretty good about where I've ended up and the progress I've made towards certain goals.

But what happens when you've gone through the stages and you're just not sure what's next.

I have never been great at making decisions, I have, however always been good at going with the flow. And it just so happens that the flow as always lead me in a positive direction, a direction towards personal growth and development. Lately I haven't been feeling very growy... or flowy. I have adjusted quite nicely to my little life here in Korea and for a time I have felt that rather than really living my life I have just been existing. Not moving forward, not moving back....stalemate.

At this point, in the past I would just move. New apartment, new city, new province, new continent...just move and that would push me forward in some way. But I am starting to see that this is not always the answer. New location, new job, new style, change for the sake of change does not always equal growth.

"All change is not growth; as all movement is not forward”
~Ellen Glasgow

Thinking about this a little more I realize that what I attribute to growth is big changes, big risks, but that's not always the case. Personal growth can take shape in many forms and the form that may be taking shape right now for me is an inner shift, a shift to become a little more settled in who I am right now, today. Every big move I've made, every big change I've had has brought me closer to being the woman I want to become, my ideal self. . But let's just be clear in saying that there is more than one version of this woman I aspire to be. So maybe it's okay, for now, to stand still for a while and work on truly accepting the woman that I am, the woman that I have worked so hard to become.

“The strongest principle of growth lies in the human choice.”
~ George Eliot

And my choice is to stand still for a while and just take it all in. Relinquish my new found need to feel control over my future and just be me.


***Why writing is good. Why already after one day I'm diggin' this challenge. When I sat down to start writing I was feeling a little discouraged, a little stressed.. But having taken the time to really think about it all and sort out my thoughts, I am leaving this post feeling a little bit lighter.

and...we're back

It has been 1 year 4 months and about 3 weeks since I have last taught any type of fitness class and last night I broke back in. It wasn't so much a class as me, the man and a couple of girlfriends hitting the beach for some pilates but it felt great. I had no idea just how much I had been missing this until last night.

I am feeling totally rejuvinated and inspired. I keep thinking that I have to wait until I return home before I can really get back into things. But that is just not the case. I feel a plan abrewin'. I know that this is where I belong that this is what I want to do. I also know that I want to continue to travel and see and experience new things. I just need to find a way to bring these two things together.

I will find a way.

***this was the intended end to this entry.....until, the way found me***

...my heart is pounding. I'm not sure why but I just signed up for this 21 day yoga/writing challenge. Impulse! Practice yoga 5 times a week and write 800 words per day. I think maybe this is a challenge for writers, which I am not, however it just feels like the right thing to do. What the f am I going to write about every day? I'm hardly getting in a blog per week. But, I do want to write more and so this will force me to put some of my ideas/thoughts to paper (well, screen really).

Seriously, my heart is pounding. This challenge is a challenge only for myself, I am not being graded or monitored so why is my body reacting this way. Excitement? Anxiety? Fear of failure? d) all of the above.

5 days of yoga a week will be tough, but I know that I can do it! Because this is a personal challenge I am going to tweak this a bit to '5 days on the mat' during the week. Pilates will be making an appearance as well.

As for the writing. 800 words per day may be a bit much for me as I'm not exactly a writer, nor am I actually writing anything. My writing is just rambling. So, I am going to commit to writing every day; no word limit, just writing. This writing may take place here or if it's more personal I will write in my journal...either way though I will keep a record here of what I am doing.

It's funny that just today I was writing about finding a way. I step away from this post for an hour and do my usual net surfing and come across this challenge. If nothing else this will be good practice for me. I started this blog with the intention of re-establishing a daily practice and writing more. I've been dipping my toes in the pool for the last couple of months, and it feels pretty good. This challenge will give me the push I need to just dive in.

Here we go!

layin' back and kickin up'

The hypochondriac in me thinks I have a blood clot, the realist assures me it's from too much idle time at my desk. It's been months now, that I've started to notice a pulsing, swelling feeling in my left calf. It's not painful by any means, but noticeable, uncomfortable. It's the worst at the end of a long day of not doing much.

I spend a fair amount of time at my desk while at school and I try to keep my legs up for most of the time, but come 440 when the final bell rings I am all too aware of the tightness in my calf. Yoga helps, walking helps, pilates helps. But what helps the most and is so so simple......legs up the wall pose. It's such an amazing feeling to just lay back in bed toss the legs up and feel the blood start to drain from my feet as it flows down through my legs.

It has been said by many a yogi that legs up the wall is the asana to ease whatever ails you. It is a more passive, milder version of shoulder stand, which, Iyengar aserts that if we do for 10 minutes every day any physical, mental or emotional ailment we have will be healed. Uh, yes please!

But, I don't want to do shoulder stand for 10 mins every day. Don't get me wrong, I dig a good shoulder stand as part of a session but I'm just totally in love with the anytime kinda feeling of legs up the wall. And so to get these ultimate healing affects I'm going to stick to this pose of ease. And the fact that I can do it in my bed...come on.

Here's why layin' back and kickin' up is good

*Helps to relieve tired and cramped legs and feet by reversing the flow of blood
*You get a sweet little stretch through the back of the legs as well as the back of the neck
*There is an undeniable calming affect on the monkey mind
*Your belly starts to soften and tension leaves the lower back and sacrum
*Anyone can do this pose!

Why isn't everyone doing this pose?